Being an INFJ can be tough. Why? Because we’re so dang complicated!

Even though my own brain confuses me daily, I do feel like I have a pretty good sense of who I am and what’s important to me, so I compiled a list of a few things that I feel/think as an INFJ. Hopefully, other INFJ’s will find comfort in knowing that someone can relate. If you’re an INFJ and you disagree with any of these or you want to add some of your own things to the list, please leave a comment below. Thanks!

1. You’re extremely reserved in most social situations but are surprisingly loud and goofy when you’re with people that you’re comfortable with.

2. You wonder why people care about so many shallow things when there are huge and devastating world problems to be solved.

3. You feel guilty when you end up getting caught up in the shallow things.

4. You have a difficult time seeing people who you deem as “shallow” (ie: loud, cocky, etc.) as people with real emotions and problems of their own. On the other hand, you completely understand people who are less fortunate, sad, lonely, and in need of help. You’re totally the person that roots for and supports the under dog.

5. You have an inflated ego because you feel like your mind is so complex and unique. While you understand other people, they don’t seem to understand you which leads to you feeling more complex and “deep.”

6. You like sad, dark, and mysterious things (i.e: true crime podcasts, sad documentaries, etc.). You have a curiosity for the sad things in life because knowing more about them helps motivate you to make a difference in the world. Also, you think depressing stuff is just super interesting. Unfortunately, you’re also really sensitive to dark things so they can easily make you feel sad and depressed. It’s a love-hate relationship. While you’re drawn to dark things, you also highly regard light rooms, windows open on a crisp fall day, and all the happy things in life. It’s completely contradictory just like everything else about INFJ’s.

7. You say, “Yes,” to socializing and you’re even somewhat excited to attend a social gathering but you instantly regret saying, “Yes,” with every fiber of your being once you start getting ready to go. Especially if you have to socialize with people you aren’t comfortable with yet.

8. You’re not able to see things as “black and white.” You have to find out for yourself if you agree with certain things. You’ve never been one to go along with what everyone else is doing and you have very firm opinions that sometimes seem contradictory and random but that make perfect sense in your own mind. You have studied and figured out what feels right to you regardless of what different organizations or political parties agree with.

9. You have no clue how others perceive you. One insult or compliment could send you on an hour long think-fest about how others see you. This can be very frustrating.

10. You have so many ideas about how you want to change the world that you end up not doing anything. You can’t decide what to do first or what’s most important because they all seem equally important. Or, on the other hand, you might know that you have glorious potential but you don’t know exactly what you’re going to do to make a difference.

11. You look at random strangers and wonder how their relationships with their family members are, if they’re an introvert or extrovert, what struggles they’ve had in their life, and if you’d be friends with them if you’d grown up together.

12. You question authority. You realize that just because someone is older or in a position of authority doesn’t mean they know what’s right for you. You know what’s right for yourself and no one can convince you otherwise. You want to do what’s right but you don’t always agree with what others see as “right,” and you also believe that everyone has their own moral compass that shouldn’t be dictated by anyone else. You think that people are naturally good at heart but that society and circumstances have led some people astray.

13.  You get certain “feelings” about places and people. This makes looking for a place to live difficult, as you base some of your decisions (especially these type of decisions) on feelings and won’t settle with living somewhere that has an, “off,” “dark,” or “weird” feeling.

14. You also have an inflated ego about how logical you think you are. You see yourself as someone who focuses on the important things in life and thinks reasonably. You often see both sides of things and are good at living life in, “a happy medium” instead of going to extremes. You think of yourself as someone who takes the good from different contradictory things (or groups, politics, etc.). This ability to see things clearly (in your opinion) makes you feel like you’re more logical than people who view things in extremes and can only see their side of things.

15. You find it difficult to do things that will benefit you “long-term.” You want to live life to the fullest and help people. Everything else seems mundane. You want to travel, have adventures, stay home, get things on your own important agenda done, and help people. You’re a homebody while also being extremely adventurous and spontaneous. You don’t quite understand some of the rules in life that everyone else seems to follow and regard as important. Often times you want to escape and just do your own thing instead of abiding by social norms.

16. You’re completely fine with going out to eat by yourself, traveling by yourself, and…well, practically doing anything by yourself. In fact, you enjoy being alone. You’d rather be alone than with people you aren’t comfortable with because you’re most comfortable with yourself. There are a select few people in your life that you’d willingly trade your precious alone time for.

17. It’s hard for you to respect and understand people who are highly extroverted and always need to have someone with them. You often regard being introverted as a good quality and being extroverted as being somewhat shallow. You find it incredibly easy to understand most people, but these extroverted people seem like a different species to you- a species that just doesn’t make any sense. Why are they unable to enjoy their own company? (It’s easy for an INFJ to fall into the trap of thinking this way so they need to make an extra effort to try not to stereotype extroverted people as shallow because most of the time that isn’t the case.)

18. You’re really passionate about certain things and you just don’t care about other things (that you maybe should care about.)

19. You try your best to help everyone but you get overwhelmed easily. You’re constantly fighting a battle in your mind between doing something to help and being too overwhelmed to do anything. You feel others emotions almost as if they’re your own, which can be a good thing but it can also be a bad thing. When you become equally as emotional as the person you’re trying to help, it can prevent you being able to help them.

20. You genuinely love people. You love that homeless man begging for money on the corner. You love that women with the broken leg who’s limping down the street. You love that person that’s socially awkward and your heart breaks when someone makes fun of them. You want to protect everyone from getting their feelings hurt. You feel their emotions and it can be utterly painful. Your heart breaks a million times a day for your family members and for random strangers that you feel so much love for.

10 Words That Sum Up an INFJ:

1. Diplomatic

2. Passionate

3. Introverted

4. Perceptive

5. Stubborn

6. Misunderstood

7. Introspective

8. Advocate

9. Idealistic

10. Altruistic